Step 3: Identify Your FLBs
Before you can change anything, you must first identify what you want to change.
If you need to fix an area of your life, you need to identify the different FLBs that you have in that specific area.
But since you have many FLBs, you need to focus on those with the biggest impact. Once you can successfully address these limiting beliefs, you can easily solve the others.
My Recommended Method: Fill-in-the-blank method
This method is simple but very effective to recognize your FLBs.
To do this, describe a situation you are struggling with.
“It’s hard to start a business,” and add “because” after it and then finish the sentence.
“It’s hard to start a business because it requires an MBA degree and a big capital.”
“I cannot find love because I am not pretty.”
“It’s hard to lose weight because of my slow metabolism.”
“I am poor because my parents are poor.”
“I can’t travel because of my job.”
Don’t judge yourself when you complete these sentences but recognize that what you say after “because” is the FLB about a specific aspect of your life.
Make a list of as many FLBs as you can about a specific subject, then focus on big FLBs that seem to cripple you down.
Here’s an example below:
|ABUNDANCE – I am not wealthy because…||I don’t have enough money
My parents are poor
Earning money is hard work
|RELATIONSHIP – I am not in my ideal relationship because…||My partners always leave me
My partners always cheat on me
|HEALTH – I am not in my ideal body because…||It’s hard to lose weight
It runs in the family
|SELF – I am not in my best self because…||I feel I am not good enough|
|Column 1 Value 5||Column 2 Value 5|
After you’ve identified your FLBs, you need look into your childhood memories and recall at what age you first had this belief about yourself. Recall the EARLIEST event in your life that you think is the source of this FLB.
Then, identify the source of that FLB. The source is any person you looked up to like your parents, early teachers, grandparents, older siblings, aunts and uncles, caregivers, etc.
What was the memory about? Why do you think you got that from that person of authority in your life? What was their childhood like?
|Category||FLB||Earliest Age||Source Person||Associated Memory||Circumstances of that Person|
|Abundance||I don’t have enough money||4||Mom and Dad||My parents always reminded us to save money because we didn’t have enough money||
|My parents are poor||3||Mom and Dad||We lived in a small one-bedroom apartment. My parents used to say we were poor as rats.||
|You need to work hard for money||5||Dad||Dad pushed me to be the best at school so I can get into the best university and eventually work at a good company. He always reminded me to study hard and work hard.||
|Relationship||My partner always leaves me||4||Mom and Dad||My parents fought a lot when I was a child. My dad used to physically and verbally hurt mom.||
|My partner always cheats on me||6||Dad||My mom found out my dad cheated on her||
|Health||It runs in the family||6||Teacher||My grade school teacher told our class there are so many fat people in our family|
|It’s hard to lose weight||7||Parents, aunts and uncles||My parents did a lot of exercise but they still loved to eat carbs and sweets
My aunts always went to aerobics classes but she’s still fat
|Self||I am not good enough||6||Mom||My mom scolded me for getting A- in my English subject. She said the only acceptable grade is A+ or A||My mom grew up with strict parents who valued education and grades above all|
|4||Mom||My mom told me I wish I wasn’t born||My mom was only 18 when she gave birth to me|